funny response to are you still alive

Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Do you really care? Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. 37. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. 14. 86. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. How did you get here? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. He will be missed. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. original sound - Tyren Sams. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. 15. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. 11. Required fields are marked *. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". 35. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Could have been worse, right. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. Thank you Fred. Me being single is just a conspiracy! The police? It's Okay. On a scale of 1 to 10, Id say somewhere between 1 and 10. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. Want to equip yourself with more responses? And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. 6. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 18. Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. There are nosy people everywhere! After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." Are those space pants? *Siri activates front camera*. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Because Jamaican me crazy! You dont need to say it. If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Liked what you just read? However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. (perfect for vegans). Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Don't Push It Too Far. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. but it's just so blunt and funny. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Just look what happened there! What's your sign? Heart-shattering. 25. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?" I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. So, how does average sound? We all grow up as we get older. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. 1. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Not sure why you're asking me my age. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. 29. 50. 92. Most of the time, that is not true. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. You were a young man when you last spoke. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Thank you, it made my day. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 71. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! No, keep talking. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Thats why Im single. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Dont wake me up yet. My grandfather had a ton of these. Your email address will not be published. Is your family tree a cactus? I dont feel that great, but look! 87. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? 30. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. 1. The hottest single of the year is me. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." How much do you charge to deliver an STD? Stupidity isnt a crime. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. and our Average, I think, that sounds about right. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Have you been thinking? I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Image: wikimedia commons 6. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. "I'm alright, mate". 22. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. 14. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Did someone leave your cage open? If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. It could always have been worse. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. I repeat I am plural! What do you say when people ask you that? 1. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. 4. 3. Are you flirting with me right now? I really thought you already knew. Brilliant! 81. Oof, gotta hide! funny response to are you still alive. Because your ass is out of this world! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 1. Funny as phuck. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. Siri, why am I still single? If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. (Explained). No, they're prison pants. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. 69. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Whats with all these questions? Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on January 20, 2020: Shing Araya from Philippines on January 08, 2020: All are witty and funny at the same time. If I had a tail, I would wag it! I always yawn when Im interested. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. Are you going to marry me? Thinking of you not existing makes me want to masturbate. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Because they are already taking their time. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? Then you die. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! This one is a bit long. Nowadays, potential mates need money. "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. 2. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. You have an old soul. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. 90. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. 3. 2. But half the time, it is a nightmare. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Because Im awkward and ugly. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. This one is good. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Maybe I am a kindergartner? You look tired. Click here for additional information. "Yeah, you're three years late. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. So much better than most people. I agree, thanks for sharing. Chuck Bass? They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Checklists & Reminders! In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Not Bad. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." You should really come with a warning label. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Oh, well 8. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. Youre free to go. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. 96. 6. 5. Life is up to something. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 5. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 4. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. I favour the "How am I what?" You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Because youre highly qualified. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. All rights reserved. I hope you like some of them. It's quite the accomplishment. What? Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. You win the internet. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? 77. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Still with us. Yup, I dont share it. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". Youre not as bad as everyone says. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 58. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Share the best GIFs now >>> 3. 68. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Then the worms eat you. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. Could be better, though. I think I am doing alright. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? 4. You just live. "See, I will finally make you smile.". Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. 95. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. I suggest you do a little soul searching. What a miracle. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. 65. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. You just have bad luck at thinking. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. 3. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Unlikely, but worth a shot. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. I learned my lesson. At minding my own business? You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. I plead the fifth. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 57. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Physically? Are you Jamaican? These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Humans are sophisticated beings, but we are also creatures of habit who say one thing while we mean something else. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. 6. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. This does not seem right. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. 5. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be.

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